Before I go any further, please understand that this entry
is intended for young, unmarried people—specifically in their teens and
twenties.
Nowadays we define singleness as a negative thing. If you
don’t have a special person to celebrate Valentine’s Day with, chances are you’re
spending the day feeling miserable and lonely, and if you’re not, everyone else
thinks you should be. As if that’s not bad enough, those who are “in
relationships” (pardon my facebook terminology, but I’m referring to those who
are in dating relationships with no real commitment or intention to eventually
marry) tend to go about flaunting their “non-singleness” with those horrifying
kissy-photos that makes us all feel a bit nauseous.
Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23
My point is that there is so much pressure to be in some
sort of relationship from essentially every angle that sometimes we begin to
wonder what’s wrong with us if we’re not. I cannot begin to express how very
backwards this way of thinking is! Every day we’re bombarded with what looks
like the perfect picture of romance via the movies we watch, the books we read,
the music we listen to—in fact, you don’t even have to resort to the media for
your daily smut intake. Simply walk on to your nearest high school or college
campus and you’re bound to stumble across a couple making out in the hallway.
Sometimes it’s enough to make me wish I was blind.
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. Song of Solomon 8:4
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. Song of Solomon 8:4
What’s really sad is when I see this “singleness is evil”
mindset take over in our youth groups. I’m not saying that a healthy
relationship cannot/should not ever begin in such a setting, but I AM saying
that the pressure, the flirtatiousness, the suggestive clothing is so, so, SO
WRONG!!! Shouldn’t church be a place of refuge, a place to re-fuel spiritually so that
we can be ready to face the trials and temptations of the world?
I remember going to winter camp with my youth group one
year; one of the guys came for the sole purpose of getting some random girl’s
phone number. You may not think that this example is really a bad thing, but
look at the bigger picture. What good do these things do for you, let alone your
brothers/sisters in Christ, assuming that you’re actually saved? If your goal
is to take the focus off of Christ and to put it on yourself, go home. I’m not
saying this to be harsh or unloving. I’m saying it to prevent you from
hindering yourself and others in your walk with God. Don’t be a distraction!
Singleness is not as bad as the majority tends to think. Most
people eventually end up getting married, so don’t live your life in pursuit of
that one object. Be content where God has you right now, growing closer to Him
daily. Use this unique time in your life to serve and glorify God to the best
of your ability. Oh, there is so much more to life than the pursuit of Mr. or
Mrs. Right! Do something to make your life count—to make your Savior look as
great as He truly is! He loves you so much more than anyone else ever could. Let
us not stand before Him one day, having nothing to account for but our pursuit
of mere human love. Let God be your focal point, your greatest desire. No one should take your Savior's place in your heart!
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3
Although I have yet to experience it for myself, I do know
that it will be so much more beautiful and satisfying if only I wait for the
right person in God’s perfect timing, and if I can conduct myself in the way
that most pleases my Savior in the mean time. After all, our star-breathing God
has much better plans for us than we have for ourselves! I’m pretty sure He
knows what He’s doing!
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