My Calling

"The craziest thing happened to me this morning. When I opened my eyes, the first thought I had was literally from Isaiah 5:6-7, which talks about Isaiah being in the presence of God. He explains that he is 'a man of unclean lips,' then a seraphim touches a burning coal to his lips and tells him that his sin is atoned for.

Later this morning, I was sitting at Starbucks drinking a vanilla chai latte, reading Worship Matters by Bob Kauflin, when I stumbled across the page that you see pictured.

Finally, the message at church today centered around the church in Acts, particularly the passage about Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch, and Philip's willingness to answer God's call. The last slide on the projector was a quote from Isaiah 6:8. It simply said, "Here I Am. Send me!"

Is that crazy or what?"

--

"As if all of that craziness I posted earlier wasn't mind-boggling enough, I went to a completely different church tonight and we sang THIS:

To the desperate eyes and reaching hands
To the suffering and the lean
To the ones the world has cast aside
Where you want me I will be

I will go, I will go
I will go, Lord send me
To the world, To the lost

To the poor and hungry
Take everything I am
I'm clay within your hands
I will go, I will go, send me

Let me not be blind with privilege
Give me eyes to see the pain
Let the blessing You've poured out on me
Not be spent on me in vain
Let this life be used for change

I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you


-I Will Go by Starfield"

--

"I do believe I've just experienced the strongest, most blatantly obvious call to missions today.

So God, I know what You want. The question is where, how, and when.

Here I am. Send me."

----

If you're wondering what I'm posting here, this is something that happened to me on September 2nd of this year. You see, ever since I was an awkward junior higher sitting in my eighth grade class, I've had this deep, quiet, hidden desire to be a missionary. As I grew older and learned more about the Savior I was serving, that desire grew with me. I'm not sure what it's going to look like yet -- where I'm supposed to go, what I'll do, and for how long, but it's a genuine desire. What you see above are my facebook posts from that day.

Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will act.

(Psalm 37:4-5 ESV)

All You Need Is...Love???

Valentine’s Day, more than any other day on my calendar, saddens me. No, it’s not because I’m single, lonely, or because I have no one to give me chocolate. What bothers me is our preoccupation with what our culture has defined as love, which is merely romance.

Before I go any further, please understand that this entry is intended for young, unmarried people—specifically in their teens and twenties.

Nowadays we define singleness as a negative thing. If you don’t have a special person to celebrate Valentine’s Day with, chances are you’re spending the day feeling miserable and lonely, and if you’re not, everyone else thinks you should be. As if that’s not bad enough, those who are “in relationships” (pardon my facebook terminology, but I’m referring to those who are in dating relationships with no real commitment or intention to eventually marry) tend to go about flaunting their “non-singleness” with those horrifying kissy-photos that makes us all feel a bit nauseous.

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23

My point is that there is so much pressure to be in some sort of relationship from essentially every angle that sometimes we begin to wonder what’s wrong with us if we’re not. I cannot begin to express how very backwards this way of thinking is! Every day we’re bombarded with what looks like the perfect picture of romance via the movies we watch, the books we read, the music we listen to—in fact, you don’t even have to resort to the media for your daily smut intake. Simply walk on to your nearest high school or college campus and you’re bound to stumble across a couple making out in the hallway. Sometimes it’s enough to make me wish I was blind.


I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. Song of Solomon 8:4

What’s really sad is when I see this “singleness is evil” mindset take over in our youth groups. I’m not saying that a healthy relationship cannot/should not ever begin in such a setting, but I AM saying that the pressure, the flirtatiousness, the suggestive clothing is so, so, SO WRONG!!! Shouldn’t church be a place of refuge, a place to re-fuel spiritually so that we can be ready to face the trials and temptations of the world?

I remember going to winter camp with my youth group one year; one of the guys came for the sole purpose of getting some random girl’s phone number. You may not think that this example is really a bad thing, but look at the bigger picture. What good do these things do for you, let alone your brothers/sisters in Christ, assuming that you’re actually saved? If your goal is to take the focus off of Christ and to put it on yourself, go home. I’m not saying this to be harsh or unloving. I’m saying it to prevent you from hindering yourself and others in your walk with God. Don’t be a distraction!

Singleness is not as bad as the majority tends to think. Most people eventually end up getting married, so don’t live your life in pursuit of that one object. Be content where God has you right now, growing closer to Him daily. Use this unique time in your life to serve and glorify God to the best of your ability. Oh, there is so much more to life than the pursuit of Mr. or Mrs. Right! Do something to make your life count—to make your Savior look as great as He truly is! He loves you so much more than anyone else ever could. Let us not stand before Him one day, having nothing to account for but our pursuit of mere human love. Let God be your focal point, your greatest desire. No one should take your Savior's place in your heart!

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3

Although I have yet to experience it for myself, I do know that it will be so much more beautiful and satisfying if only I wait for the right person in God’s perfect timing, and if I can conduct myself in the way that most pleases my Savior in the mean time. After all, our star-breathing God has much better plans for us than we have for ourselves! I’m pretty sure He knows what He’s doing!

Something Crazy

What you see in this picture are the remains of my Twilight books and movies. Tonight I did something that I've been putting off for a long time. I did some research.


Let me back up a bit...


Ever since I read the first book, I immediately noticed the power these books had. Ask any girl who has read the books and she'll tell you that they're extremely addicting. I quite literally couldn't put the thing down. In fact, the first time through I finished the book within a few short hours. As if that wasn't bad enough, I HAD to read the rest of the series--I couldn't leave it alone. I started trying to write stories like Stephanie Meyer, to find other books that gave me the same thrill, and I even had my hair styled similarly to one of the characters on the movie, Alice Cullen.


Unlike a lot of fans, I wasn't proud of my obsession. I tried to hide the fact that I was interested in Twilight from almost everyone I knew, even from my friends who enjoyed the books. I knew reading them was wrong. Although the series is immersed in the occult, I managed to justify reading it by telling myself that I knew the truth--they could never convince me to start practicing Wicca or anything of the sort. I could not, however, ignore the blatant sexual immorality the book contained. It starts so subtly and innocently that I hardly noticed. The further I read in the books, the more I blushed. The scary part is how real Bella's experiences feel to the reader.


I was raised in a godly home. I've gone to church all my life, I attended a Christian school, and most importantly I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ at the age of thirteen. My point is that I've been taught the difference between right and wrong since I was born. There is something about those books that causes young women like me to lay aside our convictions and moral standards long enough to indulge in these things that we know to be wrong. It lets or minds wander into places they have no business being. Our Heavenly Father calls us to be pure!


Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8


When I moved out of my parent's house seven months ago, I put those books on my shelf (I used to keep them hidden) as a statement that I'm old enough to make my own decisions when it comes to what I read, watch, listen to, etc., but whenever someone would come into my room and look at that bookshelf, I felt so ashamed. It bothered me to think that in reading those books, I was setting an example for others, particularly girls younger than me. I was telling other believers that reading garbage and justifying sin is okay. It is absolutely not okay, as God tells us as believers to be separate from the world. Allowing such darkness into our heart causes us to be hardened, to be desensitized to the point where evil looks like good, and good bores us. Even if we don't think the things we read, watch, and listen to affect us, they do. Because I made a habit of hiding these books from my parents, I learned to hide other things from them as well. I also found myself desiring human "love" (romance) over the all-satisfying love of our Savior.

As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man. Proverbs 27:19

I've gotten rid of the books before, believe it or not. I used to own the entire series. One day I tossed all of them in the trash (as I mentioned earlier, I knew that reading them was wrong). About a year later, I bought the first book again and I checked out the rest at the library. Believe me when I tell you these books are nearly impossible to get rid of. There's something unnatural about them. Once you read one, your thirst for them becomes insatiable. After reading several different accounts online, I found that many other Christian girls have experienced the same struggles with the Twilight books. Although it's terrifying to realize just what an impact these books have on young women, it's comforting to know that we are not alone in our fleshly struggles (see Meag's Blog, an account from another girl who has struggled with Twilight).


No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13


Tonight, however, I did something crazy. I tore up the pages of my Twilight books and shattered my DVDs. I don't want to allow any room for temptation.

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7

So, my friends, I ask you to pray for me. I'm just as human as anybody else, but God is greater than my sinful heart AND He is greater than the lies of the enemy!


But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more? Galatians 4:9