Just a little while ago, I was looking at my facebook news feed, and something grabbed my attention. Let me back up a bit before I explain:
The last two months have been literally life-changing. For months on end, I was frustrated with everything in life, not feeling like my life or anything I did counted for much of anything. It seemed that everything I touched turned to dust. I looked at everything and everyone with a critical eye. It felt like God was closing door after door, and the harder I tried to hold on, the further things would slip from my grasp.
I remember driving home one night after a meeting with my college group. With tears in my eyes, I felt the deepest sense of hopelessness I’d ever experienced. What was wrong with me? That’s the question I asked myself over and over. I remember telling my brother over the phone that there was nothing holding me back from leaving the place I lived. I kept posting depressing things on facebook, crying out for help without really understanding why.
The funny thing is, many times you can tell the difference between the people who actually care and the ones who don’t in situations such as these. I think that some people thought I was trying to gain sympathy. Let me encourage you, my readers, to look beyond the surface. Sometimes your critical heart deceives you. Sometimes people really do need love and encouragement. It’s our job to be sensitive to the work of the Holy Spirit—to listen to Him when He speaks. Obey Him! I’ll never forget my mom, my brother, and the two precious families who actually reached out to me in love, to see what was weighing me down. They took the time to listen as well as encourage.
God’s timing is perfect in every way. He moved me from the place of misery and doubt just in time. About a month after I first heard about the idea, I was moving to a new place with a sweet and caring family, ministering alongside them in our local church, and meeting another part of the body of Christ—a part that I can only describe as “doers of the Word, and not hearers only.” Everything fell into place perfectly.
I know that some people question my motives and actions in this seemingly drastic move. The truth is, listening to and obeying the Holy Spirit is not radical at all. It’s what we ought to do if we really love our Savior, right? Maybe you think the decision was made too quickly. Little do you know, God has been bringing this about for much longer than you realize. Although prayer is absolutely essential in our decisions, not everything takes years upon years of thoughts, prayer, and counsel. Not all counsel is wise counsel either. Oftentimes advice is given in an effort to appear knowledgeable or to pressure others into doing what we think they ought to do.
What I have learned through all of this is that no one’s approval matters but God’s. I constantly struggle with doing everything in an attempt to please the people around me. It makes me a weak, timid, indecisive pushover. I’m tired of living that way. “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” – Galatians 1:10.
So the comment I made in the beginning about noticing something different while on facebook? Well, it’s relatively simple. My attitude toward it is completely different. I used to get so angry reading stupid, shallow posts. It’s a bit of a long story really, but to sum it up, in learning not to care of what others think of me, I’ve learned that my opinion of people and what they had to say shouldn’t be so critical, because it’s only my opinion—me, a sinful human being. No matter how people act, I’m to treat them with the love of Christ. In this, God is teaching me how to be content in every circumstance, and through it, to love Him more. That, my friends, is how I can love you. (1 John 4:20) I’m not perfect, but I am a work in progress.
Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do what pleases Him. 1 John 3:21-22
